Taxonomy Continued: The Helicopter Parent
Posted By Daisy on July 13, 2010
It feels almost tiresome to write about helicopter parents. Literature about them and media references to them abound. There are studies out there describing the phenomenon as a biologically driven imperative now that we are waiting longer to breed and having fewer kids. (I mean, a sea turtle mom doesn’t make herself sick over seagulls; if 1% of her zillion babies makes it, hey, she done good.) If we’re spending resources on this kind of academic analysis, it’s a sign we’re a little obsessed. And, it looks like it will stay that way for a while: A November, 2009 Time article on the topic is, as of the date of this post, STILL number eight on Time‘s online “most read” list, and number TWO on the “most emailed” list. Hits home for a lot of us — either we know a helicopter parent or we’re worried we might be one. Frankly anyone self-aware enough to be concerned about whether they are entering helicopter territory … Isn’t one. Real helicopter parents don’t worry about or apologize for their behavior. Their self-image is more like that of a brave and noble paratrooper. If you’re still worried, you can take this test on babyzone.com. (Feel better?)
You might ask, why worry about helicopter parents? After all, they’re only interfering with their own kids. Not so. The dad who swoops in on the playground to arbitrate a dispute between his kid and mine (taking his kid’s side of course) is (1) taking over MY job as parent to my kid and (2) depriving my kid of the chance to find his own means of problem solving. The mom who bullies a teacher into taking her child’s side is creating a disparate impact on all the non-helicopter-endowed kids in the class. So while the parent who insists on police supervision of a five year old’s birthday party, or ensconces a child in padded and reflective clothing for every outing, might not really qualify as a Too, Too Parent (under our definition), those other examples do.
I’ve noticed that lots of the articles out there on helicopter parenting sweep what I’m calling gladiator parents into the same category. Both surely are guilty of hyper-parenting. Nonetheless, I posit that they are two distinct species driven by very different neuroses. More on this point in the next post. Stay tuned.
Related posts:
- Taxonomy Continued: The Too, Too Traditionalist Parent
- Taxonomy Continued: The Too, Too Progressive Parent
- Taxonomy of the Too, Too Parent Class: Overview
[...] “too, too parenting” arise out of losing sight of that fact, and attempting either to manage every potential threat to our child’s wellbeing, or to game every competition in our child’s [...]